• Shahab Nilgiri

5 Ways To Become More Solution Focused

Updated: Dec 12, 2018

I recently found out that one of my good friends got let go from their job. Because we both like to put a more positive spin on things, we mentioned that at least they will continue to get compensated for a year!

What does something like this bring? For most people it's problems. For this person however, it was an opportunity to better themselves, and try something totally different. You could say it was a blessing in disguise.

When I was in a predicament of juggling school, work, personal life, and fitness, I couldn't curl up in a ball and hope everything was going to be okay. I needed to take a minute, take a breather, and come up with solutions in a calm manner, rather than a stressed out and emotional manner.

This brings me to my main point of this article, which is become more of a solution focused individual.

Why do I say this? Why now?

Take note of how many people in your daily life mention HOW many things are NOT going for them. If you become more conscious of it, I think you'd be pleasantly surprised.

People can sometimes be unconsciously negative, and it's no fault of their own! I'm not here trying to preach and sound like a saint, but we have to be realistic when it comes to our outcomes that we want, and how we actually get there.

Let's guess some of the things that may happen in your day, which may cause you to make certain decisions and you're not consciously aware of it.

- People around you complain about their job

- Maybe they complain about their partner

- You hear someone complaining about the coffee that isn't hot enough

- Someone is complaining that the new hire isn't talkative enough

- The weather

- My car is old

- Too many assignments to finish

- Too little time

- The weather (again)

- Trump is at it again

... you get the idea

So if things like this is what you hear from time to time, how do you think that effects you in the long run??

What's fascinating, is that the subconscious mind is always listening. At night when you go to bed, it's running through everything that went on in your day.

Let's say that you're mostly problem based. Well, then you'll mostly focus on the problems rather than the outcome that you want.

I'm going to give you 5 different ways that you can become more solution focused, rather than problem driven.

Calm Your Mind & Create Your List

Nothing good comes when you're in a stressed, cortisol high state. Let's calm the mind first, and you can do whatever calms you down. For me, it's meditation.

What you might find, is that ideas may come into your mind the calmer it becomes.

When this happens, write these down!

Think about a time when you had an issue you dealt with, and you dealt with it in a calm way, assessed and fixed the situation, and thought to yourself that you did a pretty decent job.

Use the same logic, the same thought pattern to come up with a solution to a problem that may be bringing you down currently.

I posted a video on my Facebook profile one time (add me here) about how there are no problems in the present moment itself. Think about that for a second. Right now as you read this, breathe, there are no problems. There's just..... you.

Instantly you snap out of your own head, and are able to be the observer of your speed bump, rather than someone who's "in it".

Break Your Pattern

If all you've known is problem based thinking, then that's what you'll continue to do.

One has to make a CONSCIOUS decision to break out of this pattern. It's about making a decision to think in a different way, and following through with it when times get tough again (and they will)

Human beings are run by their patterns, and you see this everyday.

But be different, be the odd one out, and decide that you'll approach this situation differently.

In the end, you only get what you tolerate. And if you're current patterns are making you tolerate things that you don't want, then it's time to break up with them!

Get out of your own way

Too many times we are too hard on ourselves. You know how many times I've had discussions with people that mention they are stressed about their future? They don't think they've done enough? Things aren't how they want it to be??

This is a pure example of someone who's in their head too much, and emotions are taking over. This isn't a bad thing, because we need emotions! We just need them at the right time.

In this case, you're emotions are solidifying the fact that you're not where you want to be, and that you're not good enough.

Go back to calming your mind, breathe, and think about how far you've come already.

To be at whatever point you're at now, you've worked diligently! You've given value to society and the people you get to interact with. No one just falls to that point, they work to get there!

You're awesome, and you're going to continue to do great things!

You just have to get out of your own way to continue. Try not to be in your head with your thoughts. Observe them, and ask if these thoughts serve you, or do the opposite?

Find Out Why

So why do you want to solve this?

What outcomes are you going to achieve once it is solved?

Often times, we don't ask ourselves this question enough.

Also, if you find yourself getting over the top frustrated, why is that? Is it just the situation itself? Or something linked to the situation that brings up certain feelings in you??

So next time you are in some kind of a predicament, be as specific as you can with the questions and ask yourself....

-Why is it important to solve?

-Why is it important that I lose 15 lbs?

-Why is it important that I create my own business?

-Why is it important that you tell your partner how you feel?

Once your conscious of it, it's simpler to let go and get things done.

Decide To Live In A Good State

Your brains job is to help you survive, not necessarily to make you happy.

That's your job.

Once you make a decision to live in a beautiful, solution based, positive frame of mind, then solutions will come easier than being in a state of overly stressing and overthinking.

Everyday we are bombarded with ads, news, stories, messages, emails, questions, problems, and many more. Despite all this, we have to guard what comes in, and STAYS in. We have to decide what is purposeful, and what is useless.

Make a decision that you'll be present in a wonderful state of mind, despite what may happen. We don't have control of everything that happens, but we have control over what we do about it, and how we think of it.

With this decision, solutions will come, and you'll solve what you need to.

If you'd like to have a free consultation to see how I would be able to best serve you....

- Sign up at the bottom of the home page

- You can also email me at info@madmindcoaching.com

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